After a tour it is quite normal to stay in bed for a week, but for one reason or another, I still felt fucked after nine days – rising only for food and the odd cigar (thanks Matt Tibbets, Alim, Sean, Frenchy Frenzy, Jim Sinclair and Constance).
It was the first time performing with diabetes, so I was on a strict diet. However as soon as the tour finished, I had an insatiable appetite and have put on considerable weight already!
I am in a state of shock still. After having bonded so deeply with band members, crew, and gatherers, forging new friendships, honouring old faces and absent friends, listening to the struggles, and suffering of so many people – it is truly traumatic to stop.
I am currently writing to you all from first class on Czech Railways heading to Prague from Slovakia/Czech border where I reside periodically on a 200-year-old farm. I am looking forward to returning to my attic apartment in Zizkov where I eat at my favourite café most days. On my table are letters and unopened gifts from gatherers. And you know, I am deeply touched by you all. I count my blessings and although I have undoubtedly suffered exhaustion, there is a smile on my face because it’s a good tired!!!!
That our music means so much to so many people. So many moving stories of suicides prevented, to terminal illnesses, courage and inspiration, that my head spins.
Whether it was the two-year break from concerts, my illness, or the passing of years, I must admit there were moments of physical agony, and I loved every second of it!!!!
Tomorrow, I start training hard at the gym every day and I intend to push myself harder physically and harder in my new projects.
I have so enjoyed seeing you all and will do again before summer is over. BBQs and spoken word events are being planned as we speak. Killing Joke is after all a lifestyle, and a shared one at that.
Music and laughter dissolves fear and enhances unity, and freedom is our god! Reach out to one another!
Tonight, I will order ricotta cheese and spinach dumplings with Gran Moravia cheese in one of my favourite restaurants. But before I go – you all should know how to make perfect roast potatoes. Par boil the potatoes for 12 minutes, roll them in Colemans mustard powder then roast in walnut oil. Spicy, crispy, and golden!
Secondly, Welsh rarebit (or cheese toastie) should always be made with extra mature cheddar cheese and a thin smear of Coleman’s English mustard. Not to be sniffed at!
Anyway, thanks to Big Paul for supporting me through the tour when it got tough, and to our beloved Youth for making me laugh at the worst moments, for Geordie who has been by my side always, for Roy whose gentleness, empathy and kindness helped all of us. Thanks to Levi who is both favourite tour manager and sound engineer. For Nicola and Damo, Abbey, Jules, Shay the brave, and our dearest Diamond Dave.
We are bound together for all time.
I love you all.
We are family